Fakery

Counterfeit ,forged fakery, attention seeking bitch , and imitation angel without a scrap of dignity

Sinner, miscreant, rascal,whore ,liar, traitor, and terrorizer but one that stands out the most is worthless but they are the labels gravened by your hand into my sinew right before you sacrificed me at the altar of your malicious jealousy

Sisters , best friends, comrades, and partners you spouted all the while you were stabbing me in my spinal column hoping like hell you could paralyze my self confidence and self worth so I would swallow whatever shit you sought to force me to ingest but with a willing tortured smile right?

Every day you would belittle my intelligence and my small fractured moments of happiness by undermining them, your exact words were they say that about everybody when anyone complimented me or paid attention to me all because they saw me instead of your vile ass

So many years I let you kick me while I was down, the stress you inflicted led to my hair falling out in clumps, and I had no desire to enter outside because I was emotionally and physically drained, you vacated my self esteem shard by shard

You flirted with my crushes and tried soliciting dick pics from my lover, because when the spotlight is not on you , you just can’t stomach it can you? So did it really come as a surprise to you when I exploded and I let every fucking thing you did to me be known

When I finally told you just what the fuck I was thinking after bottling up all those years of your emotional and mental abuse , did it really surprise your damned ass when I finally spoke my fucking mind you cunt

So go ahead and play the victim bitch, make me the villain again because quite frankly karma has yet to serve you the cold hell you deserve, and I don’t want anymore of your fables because every thing you call me is what you really think of your own shitty self , so fuck you and fuck all the years I wasted suffering through your petty ass games

 

 

 

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Posted in Abuse, Aggravation, Betrayal, Bullying, Change, Cold, Contemplation, Cruel, Dark, darkness, Deceit, depression, Emotion, Emotionless, Evil, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hell, Hopelessness, Hurt, Imprisonment, karma, life, Misery, Nightmare, Opinion, Pain, Poetry, Revenge, Sadness, Strength, Stress, stupidity, Suffering, Thought, Toxic Friendships, Uncategorized, Wondering | Leave a comment

Bloodshed

Bloodshed, strife, and hostilities harrowing, hapless, misunderstandings drench once ecstatic estates make entrance for demolition descending transcending psychopathy

Ancient nemesis nearing completion, unbalancing, aberrations, mordant circumstances arise, and retrogrades expiration of the mindset and physical devolution 

Desiccation efflorescence , languishing celestial spheres, effervescing allotments , whilst miscreants bowdlerize admirable ,symmetrical, resplendent gravestone testaments capsizing 

Seraphs I implore, beseech you to restore me, yet nostalgia,repentance never disembarks, matchless, individual, singularity, exanimate revenants circumscribe all about me

Masticate and manducate my husk, surveying hardship, anguished afflictions,  crawling for a conciliation that shalt not be gripped by bludgeoned blaring beheading

An attestant unto my own ingestion 

 

 

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Secretive Nights Of Desire

 

 

I can feel you centermost, equidistant, in sentiments smearing, affixing, and anointing my protoplasm, thew, and corpuscles in all duration upon alabaster, frosted, transparent, immaculate, milk white breastbone bosoms

Entering anatomy bare-skinned, stripped, divested unto your endearment with my quavering lips , tottering shadowy shape, and cherry of Spring awakening awaiting completion for the sensory paroxysm

Skimming every contoured crevice unbound, sultry moon, eclipses neath sheets of satin craving, and echoing of something new humming happy lullabies to my heart , the dark unknowings, Coming and goings of a heart hearkened by both lust, love, and passion

Turn me to ashen bone, lick the destruction we construct as one, darling we are doomed, two crescendos illuminating this circle of hell, doing things in the midnight madness pitch black, running out of time

The desert roses open in blooming blazes, stones weigh our heaving, inter-weaving indifference, so strip me down, and bind my wrists to this bed of temporary nightmarish , fantasy, fucking dreamery

Raven songs, weeping willows, and secretive serenades tear up our whispered liasions, addicted to every inch of your intricate ,intelligent, inner being , so lay me upon this pillowing pillar of diligent dripping phantasm of pleasantry

 

 

 

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Beautiful Dreaming

 

Waves of ultramarine,cerulean,azure blues beckoning me farther into floral fragrance washing upon embankments of jade,chartreuse, emerald seashores

Bushes yielding wielding wild mulberries that have a piquancy of haven like hills where evergreens decorate my wishful, whimsy, phantasm tucked within ideal , exemplary villages all my own

Tangerine Tiger Lilies resting , embellishing my breastbones and highlighting my indigo stands , flowing freely down to the small of my back

Incandescent, alight, moonlit fireflies waltz all about me, my giggling glee, unconstraint ,impertinence, adrift beaming expressions

Wading through babbling creek beds, wind caressing my face, sound mind, and the honeysuckles aromatic , thick clean air fill my once breathless lungs

Push my toes in mud just to feel the sensation of it squish,slosh, and slime

Press my face to an array of sunflowers ,watercolors of different shades, the sky thundering above , so many white doves fly circles around me, and summer rain so warm falls upon my wounded flesh

Healing , feeling thrilling, drop my white sun dress to the ground , naked, I gaze up at the puffy, plump clouds , sunlight shimmers upon my ivory flesh , and I hope again , lounging in fields of frenzied salmon hued daisies

Napping among monarch butterflies fluttering impassioned in the breeze, watching as they land upon me , and I spread my arms out open wide, for the first time I can see so clearly

Liberated from unsavory, unkind thoughts, no voices , nor shame , or mind games just encompassing beauty all around as far as this strange dreamscape stretches out on

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The Aftermath

Cracked sink , new lows, your face fluctuates these peeling walls, and blotted out blank spaces 

Separated , runaway thoughts, flickering lights , and bouquets,batched, botched goodbyes 

How long can I play into my own denial, my frustrated understanding, and fucked up way of thinking ? 

Is it the front yard I keep staring at , the vacuous bed, scarcity of your belongings, or all left unresolved, maybe the lack of sound pervading these pointless rooms

Permeating passive aggressiveness , warring with your lawyers, and watching you become someone I am beginning to loathe yet used to look at with love rather than this accustomed disgust 

The pointless, meaningless hookups I use to try and fuck you from pounding my skull with happier memories before the shit hit the fan and you decided I just was not good enough anymore 

I still remember the day I caught you in our marital quarters letting your lover do all the things I only thought you ever wanted me to 

How foolish I felt seeing you two as one, I slammed the pictures of our wedding day off the end-tables , ran from you and your apologies given only because you got caught up in your double sided games, and I took that champagne I was saving for your birthday to chug what just happened away 

The worst part was how numb I became when the battle began, you took every joy, all the happiness , and bliss when you went and did this 

So once you were all moved out, I took a torch and lit it up, because I cannot stand to look at this structure we once built together with all we felt 

I just want to let it all go permanently 

 

 

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Recurring Nightmare

Clandestine, un-illuminated, cataclysmic, and nightmarish inky saturated sea rumbling, clamoring, crashing inexhaustibly. Multifarious depths limitlessly teeming with treacherous tentacles splicing, suctioning flesh from bone slurping greedily on unfortunate souls, victims of the desolate, dreary, nether dimensions. Scales slime ridden clutching against panic stricken flailing limbs. A serpent like beast weaving swift and viciously through this frigid liquid hell. Translucent milky eyes beneath gelatinous lids flicker. Click. Click. 

It sends tsunami-likened ripples. Confusion. Prey swimming frantically for escape yet shore-less infinities grant no such mercies. It’s gargantuan plated head rears up ravenously. Razors spin in its mouth. Mighty jaws widen in a portal of pain. It dives in a dining hour of devour. Gulping a silencing swallow finale. Grinding it’s meal. The grey , gloomiest, depressive, cloudy, sunless labyrinth sky seeming to glower above. Beasts begin the cycle again, laying in wait for human flesh and lost dreamers to meet peril. 

 

 

 

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Burning Learning

        I couldn’t let my heart fall away. All I knew twas death , self destruction, bloodied orange flame , and a victim to calculated mind games. Cursed carrion teeming with maggots, roasting rotten aroma of floundering flesh falling from piss toned bone weathered, worn. A swarm . Locusts lay in the soiled soil in my core. Singing for scorn. Raving Revenge. Cheeks clustered puss. Cockroaches. Metamorphosis. I can feel icy depths churn from all I shall learn.

Malice. Built my vacant cathedrals. A mansion forged from betrothing betrayal. No princess. Just a queen resting her hardened, harpy soul upon a steely throne thrilled by despair. My breastbones adorned in armored thorns cauterized by moody, depressive grief. A shredded art piece powdered in petunias a dribbled shade of sapphire jade. 

Vile monstrosity. Shadow serpentine. Persephone. Pegasus. Plowed. Pulverized yet rising always in eager disdained deviance. Love lost .Strength found.

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