Bare Your Soul

Take it off slowly 

Ease all those layers away , drop those faces, and shed your burdening shames 

Let me trace your scars, insecurities, vulnerabilities, and inklings of dark 

No morals, no limits, no safe-words, just your naked flesh

Take it all off for me , lay your soul bare , and open those concreted walls to your heart just for me

I offer you these ivory arms, a safe haven , from this storm taking place in your own form

Here there is peace, appease, understanding, and passionate yearning

Let me cleanse the scabbing within that torturous essence, spread those misshapen wings, and crooked horns 

Atrocity, outcast, unwanted , and unseen by the outside influencers draining you my sweet

You and I are one 

Drawn by irrevocable, unshakable, fathomless chemistry boiling over 

It is what led you to me 

My ability to tame the demon dwelling aside the man 

You see I too am misunderstood, misanthropic, and marked by those who cannot see the human behind my saddened, soul-less eyes 

I to camouflage my weaknesses so the weasels would never make it past my guard,self defense mechanisms, and silver tongued sarcasm

Step forward, disrobe, and let me cradle you until the sound, noise, and aggravation disperses




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Strengthened By Trial

Shivering sounds .I lost my pearl crown accented in all those diamonds dripping with youthful un-knowing as the horned cathedrals upon my head were bore among the best beasts of them all .My darkness crawled across the isolated, indifferent, insensitive, yet oddly soothing . Floating about cramped , crumpled, and weathered tombstones snaked in emerald ivory. What splendor, spoils, secret hell’s I unveiled sprung from raven rendered nightmares. How the abyss so limitless beckoned me further and further in. Caskets so many wolves buried me in as I discovered wisdom, self sufficiency, and survival as a lioness . So many underestimated my strength, my willingness, my own fire so vibrant threaded deep down in the trenches of my faltering soul . What they discarded, destroyed, tattered, and bludgeoned I arose from more merciless,ruthless, relentless, and determined. Deliverance now mine. 

Roaring. Crusading. Silencing the challengers of my throne .Let them come from far and wide to my valley of shadows to bear their teeth but I warred. No more the little pushover with sealed lips so susceptible to their violent abuses . Fearless. They gnash , bind, grind my bones to dust yet I won’t be defeated by such petty parlor tricks. When I closed my jaws around their windpipes, pleading for their sorry lives, and scratched at my cold irises entranced by savagery wrung no forgiving nature . I gave them reason never to return for though I stand alone I am not meek anymore. I am my own warrior .Exiled to this island of drear. Here I reign. So let them spew their insults, lies, and assumptions because they do not mean a fuck to me.They subdue themselves with their own fakery.angry-lioness-image-3318x4977_75118

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Painted skies far from here

Where the loneliness, vacancy , depression, anxiety, and insomnia can no longer congeal ,penetrate, and persuade isolating

A dimension draped with salmon backdrops accompanied by translucent, luminescent, lavish moon tides swaying comfortably at dusk

Blanket forts, ghost stories , bonfires , bottomless drinks, cuddles, and your company

Dwelling of faux fur rugs, stone walls glinting in dancing, dimmed, candle-light, free of my mistaken misplaced mind

Your warming ebony arms draped around me , legs entangled, lovers embracing, as the eclipsing days fizzle,sizzle, and burn with passionate touches

A haven , a hideaway, where my inner lioness can roar in freedom from all this bullshit my reality has to be

Daydreaming dream-scape lined with escape, intimacy, and immaculate scenery

Greenery , trees , and beauty blending into shades of serene silent cabins

Where I can caress every part of you , gaze into your asphalt eyes , where the traveling roads never truly know an end

Far from this hell I have come to know


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The Beginning Of It All

Snapshots shuttering chaos cursing in my head 

Burning imagery stapled ,woven, and stitched upon the complexity complexion tattooing my pound of flesh 

Conscious free-falling from that fissure fascinated by chemical in-balancing blasting canyons reminiscing my colluded catatonic state 

I cast the inklings inducing vivid scenarios stained by your tenor ,talented, and often misguided palms 

Oh but still I fuck your phantom appeasing the beating, blissful, blasted pain of fucking wishing our long lost love back to life 

When I sift through your wedding photos online  I am reminded again it met it’s miserable end many , many moons ago 

Yet is so wrong of me to hate someone I do not really know because she has what at one time all I ever wanted 

But as time drudges dreadfully on the ache has become only a distancing echo

Somehow I regained my voice through the drowning depression that once crippled me in the silence that quite literally was deafening 

All you are now is a lusterless token embedded in the bank of my broken, washed out, wounds 

All the whiskey , pills, and meaningless nights I spent weeping over the man who tore the innocent part of me away 

Because losing you still remains the deepest laceration to date that nearly killed me as I knelt trying to heal the shame and the self blame 

I fragmentize, imploded, pulverized the very core of my own self to try to scribble over your name furrowed, welded , and whittled upon my ruins 

Yet I still find even now I cannot bear to hear your name for it will always be a bullet 




Posted in depression, Emotion, Forbidden Romance, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hurt, life, Loss, Love, Misery, Poetry, Sadness, Stress, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Just A Fool

Ghost, apparition, phantom, specter , haunt how have I allowed myself to fall in love with such a vampire

Drained, depleted , bleary, weary, deleted sensations tinge within from the apparent fact I am mere entertainment for when you are feeling lonely

This stupidity , idiocy , lunacy, and stolidity from your insensitivity pronouncing my prominent misconception that you give a shit about how I feel

Your calls are later and later, texts drudge on , never on time, failing to keep your simplest promises , and breaking your word

I notice every small difference , with every notion I come to acknowledge I feel like even more of a fucking fool

When did I let my heart get the best of me , why do I give chase when it is a waste , you are just going to disrespect, downgrade my observations , and convince me I am overthinking again

So I whisper , “It is fine” to myself because I feel like I am talking to a wall and I know that it is just wasted phrases

I know you are busy , don’t wanna feel like I am being clingy and dumb , or get the same bullshit responses and vague reasoning

Tell you everything yet you keep yourself a secret , so I won’t bother anymore

Do as you wish , I am done analyzing , and trying

I will just be me and you can be you

No need to put it on the line when silence is all I will ever find dark-wallpaper-30-hd-wallpaper



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Darker Times In The Rabbit Hole

Innocent, naïve, pure-hearted, unblemished, and untainted to the true acute, cutthroat , hellish, and woeful blows fate would soon deliver

Burning, crashing, crumbling, corroding , wasting universe where the first cut was so savagely, ferociously, uproariously, coarsely given

Dejection, rejection, mournfulness, detachment, came the cocktail of my addiction to any anesthetizing, narcotizing , and desensitizing temporary cure to the memoranda procured by recollections of you

Drunken, depressed, misanthropic , malicious , and merry in hours teasing the imagery of all I had given now soiled in regretful rectifying circumstance

So youthfully foolish as to why the affliction calamity crucifying my psyche was thrumming restlessly and just would not go dormant

So I journeyed further down that rabbit hole

Until I found my footing and my sobriety on the other side

Only after I had murdered my self a thousand ways

And a million different damn times




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I cut it out of me, the parts you crippled , when I let you in

Promised me rose petals but all I tasted was the thorns thrashing ,watering, and weighing away putrid poisoned veins

Swallow ,wallow, and wave whilst I decompose , composing a symphony of a murder of crows just for you

Perishing , perilous, painstaking spells congealing unhealthy wells brimming, teeming ,and steaming in that familiar famine forged by passionate wanderings

Sacrificed ,forgoing, relinquishing revelations all about you and what you will soon do to my blinded blue eyes weeping amongst freezing,  drizzling downpours

Did they all taste as sweet as my chemical reaction etched on the matches you lit upon us all

How easy was deceptive affairs unto a self-conceited sick bastard like you

Science experiments in twisted schemes

Meaningless numbers attached to varying ringtones

Tell tale death tolls within secretive schemes

Yet my final question for you is ,  “Do you even know what you are anymore?” OR “WHO YOU ARE ?dark-room

Posted in Abuse, Betrayal, Cold, Contemplation, Cruel, Dark, Deceit, Emotionless, Heartbreak, Hurt, Night, Pain, Poetry, Sadness, Uncategorized, Wondering | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment