Stagnate

I cannot concur the drenching of bitterness believing blindly under every layer of raw relinquishing,rotting,ridiculously weak wedge of bloated flesh

The putrid pool of passive pressure corroding every core of creative structure sterilized from my foaming acidic veins

Like an emaciated unicorn missing a misanthropic horn no longer pure pouring scarlet seething diseased and painted without pastels

Roaming endlessly entranced by an immortal moon of makeshift tombs to tell my horrific endings repetitively singing mercilessly 

Unable to shit that fakery facade of false happy they seek from me in sugar coated sprinkles topped with magical frosting in the land of make believe 

No I am just an unhinged psychopath with a drinking problem proudly on display.Popping euphoria from a bottle of endless shame.With a scowl and an introverted anti social perspective

But I won’t be a puppet for the disapproving superiors trying to look down on me.When they are all actively camouflaging the stains of stagnate darkness with their bottles of blasphemous bleach.

Posted in Betrayal, Cold, Cruel, Dark, Emotionless, Emotions, Misery, Pain, Poetry, Revenge, Sadness, strange, Strength, Stress, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dysmorphic Translucency

Mask won’t peel away anymore.Dysmorphic translucency trampling smoothed flesh festering with fragrant maggots devouring crevices unseen 

No screaming left to do.Reflection rendered unseen.Just blank bleak obstruction overdone and impenetrable.

This fortress I bred in my damaged,darkened,dangerous head protected by concrete walls of searing derange.

Bit off my own fucking tongue so you would not have to see all the bits of hell you put me through.

Do you like the grotesquely malformed malfunction you crafted with your persistent perpetual menace?

How did the tissue of my heart taste on your betraying lips?Was it as bitter as all your hypocrisy?

Bet you think your soul beautiful and oh so pure but your matted in muddy bullshit.All the violence you stir drama gaslighter 

You disgust me with the part you play so well.Trying desperately to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes 

But I see every splatter of truth you deflect

 

Posted in Abuse, Betrayal, Cruel, Dark, Misery, Pain, Poetry, Revenge, strange | Leave a comment

Irreversible

It is simply irreversible this damage encrypted in the confines of my fleshy dress

The way I carry every old haunt and hollow bone to the drumming of a heart no longer mine

Echoes silently caressing in my deepest dreams of a reunion that simply can never be 

It is never easy to forget the things we wish to evade 

Emotions sometimes fail to relent for the heart is a stubborn fool 

Clinging to cooling embers 

To far gone to see the fairtytales never end with a kiss and smile

Just miles of unresolved darkness 

It is fueled by a soon fleeting hope 

And as it dies it still refuses to stop desiring what can not be

Carrying forever that vortex of a wound

Posted in Dark, Emotions, Heartache, life, Poetry | Leave a comment

Irreversible

It is simply irreversible this damage encrypted in the confines of my fleshy dress

The way I carry every old haunt and hollow bone to the drumming of a heart no longer mine

Echoes silently caressing in my deepest dreams of a reunion that simply can never be 

It is never easy to forget the things we wish to evade 

Emotions sometimes fail to relent for the heart is a stubborn fool 

Clinging to cooling embers 

To far gone to see the fairtytales never end with a kiss and smile

Just miles of unresolved darkness 

It is fueled by a soon fleeting hope 

And as it dies it still refuses to stop desiring what can not be

Carrying forever that vortex of a wound

Posted in Dark, Emotions, Heartache, life, Poetry | Leave a comment

Why me

Don’t call me beautiful when she hurts you with the acid rain of her reigning words 

Stop sending me cryptic texts that translate to letting me in my door at 4.am. On the dot

Don’t serenade me with your charismatic cruelty 

Please remove your hands from my ass because your groping is always dipped in double standards

Remove your lips from my skin because I won’t give in to your petty mind games laced with seductive allure

Don’t shatter that vase on the counter in a heated tantrum because I won’t give you your way 

Please back away!!Stop!!Let me go!!No

I can’t breathe underneath your weight!!It all feels so heavy as I muffle another faint scream

You backhand me hard across the face until blood and tears are all I taste 

The way your fists swell my frightened blue eyes together until my vision is so blurred I can no longer see what your about to do to me

Terrified I claw at you until you begin cursing under your breath enraged 

You punch me in the mouth this time but by now I feel so numb like a corpse that has went into rigamortis 

You rip my top from my trembling flesh so you can remove my dignity one stitch at a time 

Your mouth upon my skin disgusts me ,surrounding my nipples in utter shame,as you further your venture to forever wound me

The way your lips seem to devour me violently,your teeth grazing my sense of safety whilst you slither over me like a malevolent serpent 

But you reward yourself with the last morsel of my trembling body ,Pushing your fingers into my privacy

Then you force your way in,and shatter my trust in any man,thrusting these shards of dirt into my heart

As you withdrawl your sword of cruelty and leave your gush of trashy triumph on my stomach 

My mouth is dry ,I can no longer make a sound,my legs left open like a lifeless cracked corroded doll,Vulnerable,Naked 

So much pain yet I am an empty vessel 

Drained by a friend I thought would never scar me or betray me in such a way

What she would not give you

You violenty assaulted from me

Staring at the ceiling as every little second of your deviant act plays on repeat in my head

Shocked and frozen 

Silence so deafening 

As if I have become a part of this mattress 

Finally I scream,sobbing,surrounded by your evil

I stumble into the bathroom in a hazed daze

Into a shower to scrub your scum off every part of me 

Curled up in a corner just letting the steam hit me now

A heap of heartache

The  pounding of my racing pulse penetrating the disillusioning walls 

Shaking violently

The water seems to have gone cold now….so cold.

Why me?

Posted in Abuse, Betrayal, Cold, Cruel, Dark, Deceit, Emotion, Heartache, Hell, Hopelessness, Horror, Hurt, Misery, Pain, Poetry, Sadness, Sexual Assault, Stress, Suffering, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Some loves

Some loves leave that last kiss burning white hot through the fading lipstick 

Some loves swim around in your head until your dead overthinking every wrong move you made

Some loves leave you bleeding on the dingy antiquity of a disinfected white floor 

Some loves simply shred you between callous uncaring jarring jolting fingertips 

Some loves chain you to fattening cakes and sobbing pools of putrid misery

Some loves bring the warmth of liquor to your lips in a weak attempt to erase his cyanide smile from your memory so fresh 

Some loves are a repetitive cycle lacking a clear conclusion 

Some loves suck the life from your frail veins paling with all those unspoken words

Some loves you will recall for eternity

Some loves are destructive and devastating 

Some loves you just can’t shake off 

Posted in Aggravation, Cold, Dark, Emotion, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hurt, Imprisonment, life, Love, Misery, Pain, passion, Poetic, Poetry, Sadness, Stress, Suffering | Leave a comment

Not Your Prodigy

You crave muted pastels subdued

For me to conceal my rot

To tuck the foul scent of my stumbling,mislead,and excess psychotic psychosis diagnosis

Fake a forged smiling fable with your knife pressed to my trembling lips

The flesh tender as my wince when the jagged edges grit grimly against my purity

Watch the gloom glow whilst you crush my esophagus of trusting loyalty

Treason seasoning me for the guilty grieving of my own crushed creativity

Maimed by your scorning lashing at my hopeful day dreaming 

You staled the sheen once beaming bountifully in my heart

Soon I was a tomb and the ink stained my skin with the wounding scars of mistreated bleakening

The demonizaton demonstrated by your harsh hands made me a madam of damnation 

I took that paint brush of punishment so pale and carved the vile onyx shade into everything around me 

Appalled you called ,Detonating your control,freeing myself

Taking your greeded power away

Spitting my venom and letting you behold the ugly deformity you made of me

Not your sheep or passive prodigy 

Posted in Abuse, Aggravation, Bullying, Change, Cold, Contemplation, Cruel, Dark, darkness, Disorders, Emotionless, Evil, Hatred, Heartache, Hell, Hopelessness, Horror, Hurt, Imprisonment, karma, life, Loss, Love, Misery, Night, Pain, Poetry, Revenge, Sadness, strange, Strength, Stress, Suffering, Thought | Leave a comment